Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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