I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
