those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
