The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
