You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
