considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
