You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
