Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
