she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
