I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
