you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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