my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
