All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
