I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
