I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Randomize
