I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
