Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
