he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
