Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was like having sex with a tree stump
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
