Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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