I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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