he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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