So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
