if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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