Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
