Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
