Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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