I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There's always time for handjobs
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
