oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize