she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
