i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
