I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
