its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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