I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
