So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize