I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize