just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
