you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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