First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
