I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
MIDGETS
????
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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