Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize