At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
