Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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