Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
