Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
