I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
