Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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