You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
