Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
