We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
