I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
