You can't motorboat a personality
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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