Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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