the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
