If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
