Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
