Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
