I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
